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I've always been an all or nothing kind of girl. I either commit 100% or I like 100% back out of whatever feels iffy. Never before have I had to embrace the gray.
. . .
It's funny how life never plays out the way you intend it to (well not really funny but they do say that laughter is the best medicine, right?). Any who, around this time a year ago I had decided for myself that I needed to serve a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint. However, God had a different plan for me. It took me a while to come to terms with this decision but once I did, I embraced it full heartedly and have enjoyed my life as it is.
I don't know what it is about me and the month of April but boy we just do not get along haha because now this time around, in the midst of finals and just life itself, I feel as though I am drowning under never ending waves. I try so hard to tread, to stay atop the water (just like I was taught in water polo, thank you KHS) yet just when I feel like the seas are calming and I can finally let my legs rest, another wave hits and always more brutal than all the rest. It's when that last wave comes-- when the iffy feeling sets in that every fiber in me yells "run, swim, do anything to get out of this situation now."
But this time around, it was different.
. . .
Embracing the Gray.
p.s. yes, my eyes are indeed naturally this squinty
I am very much still quite iffy about embracing this gray area in my life. It is quite honestly taking everything in me to fully surrender to God and the plan He has for my life. But here I am doing exactly that. Funny thing is, I always thought that once you surrender your will to the Father's that you will never have to do it again--as if it was just a one time thing. But frankly, it's more of a once a day kind of thing. For me, it is constantly remembering that I need God every minute of my every day. It is reminding myself that I am His daughter, that I am truly loved, and that I have a divine potential just like everyone else on this earth.
So here I am, embracing God's plan and embracing the simple fact that not everything in this life will ever be black and white. Somethings will be gray, and that's ok.
smile always, n.h.
. . .
As a side note, I am going to be saying goodbye to social media for quite a while. I think I am way overdue for an unplug sesh, if you know what I mean. However, you can still call, text, email or check my blog (the blog is the only thing I will be keeping). Something new will be posted every Monday at 10am MST, so if you happen to want to stay in touch with mi vida then that's how to do it. Oh and handwritten letters are always welcomed, I'm a sucker for those.
