I know homesickness is not fun but it does happen. I cried today for the first time. Like really cried.
I had opened Romney's email and all of the sudden I was filled with tears and love but this huge sorrow for being 750 miles away from home. I miss my family. I miss my bed.
Though there have been moments (today specially) where I just wish I could pack up and go back to my little home town I know I am here for a reason. I know that at this time I need to focus on myself and on my studies. I need to prepare for a mission whether it's going away to serve a full time mission or if it's just sharing my testimony with those around me it's something I need to do for myself.
I love this gospel. I love the happiness and joy it brings into my life. I love knowing that when my time on this earth is up I can still see and be with my family for the eternitites. I am so grateful for the trials and tribulations I have had and still have. Heavenly Father is real. He loves us and He knows our hearts and desires. I realize that He must know how incredibly much I yearn to serve a mission. Yet, I also realize that for some reason (I will hopefully figure out later on) Heavenly Father is saying "not yet". It's just not the time.
For those of you who know me having to wait or postpone my plans is incredibly hard to do because I am a go-getter. In other words I am very very determined when it comes to accomplishing something. Very rarely do I ever give up.
Some people may think "Well gezz Nicole, that's good that you are so determined!" And though at times it is a good thing. Other (and quite frankly most times) it's not.
So for now I am going to have to suck it up and put my big girl panties on and accept the fact that The Lord knows me better than I know myself and by no means would He guide me to postpone a mission unless He had a better planned prepared.
Smile Always!